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10 Tips for Jewish Weddings
from Huppahs.com
- Here's a bright idea: At the end of the ceremony, instead of smashing a glass, smash a lightbulb -- the old-fashioned spherical kind. You'll get a good loud, ceremony-ending "POP." (And whether you use a glass or a lightbulb, put it into a small closeable pouch to catch the broken bits.)
- Dancing and entertaining the bride and groom are important Jewish wedding traditions. To ensure that the dancing gets off to a joyous start, assign a group of close family members or friends the job of getting out on the dance floor as soon as the music starts.
- Using a hand-held huppah, rather than one that stands on its own, sets an intimate mood and creates four additional roles with which you can honor friends and family members. The roles of huppah-bearer can be especially suited to non-Jewish family members and friends who some rabbis sometimes exclude from other central wedding roles.
- Give a wedding favor that feeds the soul: a small packet of sweet-smelling spices. Hundreds of years ago, rabbis recommended smelling sweet spices to strengthen the soul during havdalah, the ceremony that ends festival days and each Shabbat. Such spiritual nourishment is intended to help people carry the joy of special occasions into the days that follow. Build on this tradition by giving guests gifts of sweet-smelling spices. Place cinammon sticks or another other whole spice with a wonderful scent into small, purchased organza bags. Attach a brief explanation. Guests can use them in their own havdalah ceremony at home, or simply hang the spices in their kitchen to enjoy the scent and recall your wedding day.
- Prepare handouts with brief explanations of each step of the ceremony. In addition to making them available on the day of the wedding, include them with the invitations of guests who may be unfamiliar with the Jewish wedding ceremony. If people are somewhat familiar with the ceremony before they arrive, they won't have to keep looking down at their handout, but can more easily enjoy the ceremony as it unfolds.
- Set a sumptuous, romantic table for two in the room where the bride and groom will spend a few minutes alone together after the ceremony, in the wedding tradition called yichud. Use monogrammed napkins, candlesticks, or other elements that the bride and groom can use later in their life to recall this special moment.
- When choosing a wedding date, check a Jewish calender. Not only do you want to avoid Shabbat, festival days, and most of the forty-day period after Passover, but also try to avoid dates that are close to the start of a festival, when many people will be extremely busy with holiday preparations.
- Many women are rediscovering the deeply spiritual nature of the mikvah, the ritual bath in which brides in particular immerse themselves prior to their wedding. Turn the occassion in to a celebration, as communities of women have done for thousands of years. Invite women family members and friends to accompany the bride to the mikvah, then escort her to a party in her honor and shower her with gifts. But before you arrive at the mikvah with a crowd, contact the person who runs the facility to see if she has any guidelines for you.
- Synangogues and Jewish communities vary in their expectations of guests' dress and behavior. Alerting your guests to these guidelines before the ceremony day is at least as important as including the day's dress code on your invitation. It helps avoid unnecessary embarrassment and hard feelings on the day. Include a note about the synagogue or rabbi's guidelines in the invitation. Ask your synagogue or rabbi if they have already put together a list of such requirements.
- Make the spiritual core of your ceremony the main focus of your wedding planning. Don't wait until the last minute to order your huppah, ketubah (marriage contract), kiddush cup, hallah cover and other items. Otherwise they could get lost in the avalanche of details that often accompany special events. Once you've selected the venue, the date, and the rabbi order your huppah, ketubah, kiddush cup, and the other items. And the dress, of course. With those central items in place, the rest is icing on the cake.
Mazel tov!
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